Week 27: Ukraine

Whenever I think of former U.S.S.R. states I think cold and bleak, with the ragged clothing and the bread lines. But did you know that part of the Ukraine has a "Mediterranean" climate? And that whole famine thing was a result of post WWII Soviet tyranny (boo on tyranny). Ukraine actually has totally fertile agricultural land!

What!?!?

I want to go to there.

How is it that we didn't know this? Their marketing must be lacking. The landmass is slightly smaller than Texas, which did inspire their uninspiring tourism tag line Ukraine: Everything's Slightly Smaller Here.*

Everything except their meals. For dinner (not chicken Kiev, but that would have been cute) we made varenyky, little boiled dumplings. Little pillows of starchiness!

We filled some with a mixture of mashed potatoes and onions caramelized in butter (heavenly!), and some we filled with ground beef and onions. They were served with some sour cream on a bed of red sour kraut (not homemade). Very hearty and delicious.

Michael hand-made the varenyky dough. However, the recipe won't be published here because we have lost interest. It was a very high maintenance dinner and the end result was a plate of starchy starchiness. Yummy, but not exactly something we are going to go to lots of trouble to make again.


*Ok, I made up that tag line. But this doozie is a direct quote from the tourism page: "There is much to offer tourists, many lovely sights, traditional sounds, decadent flavor and unique smells." Really? Unique smells? No thank you.

Week 23: Italy

If you visit Italy, don't forget one of the classic blunders. The most famous of course, is never get involved in a land war in Asia. But only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!
We certainly kept that in mind ourselves the one and only time we visited Italy.

Italy is a country of 60 million people and 90% of those are catholic. Italy has a rich history. (If you didn't know this, where have you been? Seriously. Try watching some PBS. Just have it on in the back ground or something, I mean c'mon). Here, you will find the most perfect pair of marble buttcheeks in the world on Michelangelo's David, and countless other priceless (yet not all buttcheek related) pieces of art. Despite this, Italy has many problems as a modernizing nation. Its lengthy and difficult-to-protect coastline allows easy access for illegal immigrants and a flourishing drug trade. Corruption and organized crime are, at times, rampant. These factors have all had a hand in stifling the growth of Italy's economy. In the south especially, the country faces major modernization problems (the parts snuggled up to Germany are quite modern for some reason). Still, tourism is the number one industry and Italy has a lot to show off to the world (not just buttcheeks).

Some of the best meals we have had -- ever -- were in Italy. Anchovy spaghetti, seafood spaghetti, focaccia, and pesto lasagne in Vernazza. Caprese in Florence (sorry, we didn't go to Capri). Gelato gelato gelato. Wine! Everywhere you go, just order the house wine and it's better than anything you have ever had.

Just make sure no one switches glasses while your back is turned.

Even here at home, whether we are cooking ourselves, or dining out, Italian food is probably our favorite. It's comfort food, family food, and there is simply no better way to carb up. And did I mention the wine? We made sure to get ourselves a lovely bottle of Italian red to share for this meal.
Tuna Carpaccio

Beef carpaccio was invented in Harry's Bar in Venice in the 50s. We've never tried beef carpaccio, but when we were in Venice last summer we did order a lovely tuna carpaccio--extremely fresh, and dressed simply with olive oil and delicate slices of grapefruit. The carpaccio to end all carpaccioes...er...carpaccia?...carpacciums?...anyway, the tastiest one is at Ristorante Machiavelli (known as Monkey Valley to everyone that matters) here in Seattle. We attempted to create this masterpiece at home.

We started with a 3/4 pound top-quality sushi-grade ahi steak. Michael only got a little bit of overspray on his tshirt from the flying fish at Pike Place Fish while waiting in line.

I froze the tuna for about 45 minutes and then sliced it horizontally into three approx. 1/4 inch slices. I placed them between plastic wrap, and pounded them out one at a time using a heavy cocktail glass. I pounded from the center outward until it was approx. 1/8 of an inch thick. These went on plates and into the fridge until we were ready to serve them.

I made dressing using dijon mustard, lemon juice and some white balsamic vinegar. It wasn't exactly right, but close.

Using a ziplock baggie with the corner cut off, we drizzled the dressing over the tuna in a zig zagging pattern. On top of this goes: very finely chopped curly leaf parsley, grated parmigiano reggiano (from Italy! Protected under the Denominazione di origine controllata.), capers, and fresh ground pepper. Serve with lemon slices, for squeezing over it all, just before eating.

Heaven!

We rounded our our meal with the best caprese salad of my life, and Michael's homemade focaccia.

We took the recipe from an about.com article that features a little old Italian lady named Margherita making traditional focaccia. It turned out pretty darn tasty and you can see Michael dimpling it for that extra bit of foreign credibility. He made me call him Margherita while he was baking this.

Week 22: The United Kingdom

Jean loves all things British; so much that her college major was English--which happens to be the national language of Great Britain!

Things we love about the UK: First and foremost, Robert Pattinson. Ok, fine. "We" don't love him. Jean does.

But then there is gin, Freddy Mercury, scones, clotted cream, lemon curd, finger sandwiches, tea, teatime in general, trifle, shepherd's pie, London, IPA, Brown Ale, other ale, Bushmills whiskey (Northern Ireland is part of the UK. It totally counts), Mr. Darcy, Jane Austen, Harry Potter, Ben Sherman, Wagamama, Anglophiles, the tube, minding the gap, the gap, British accents, umbrellas, giant hats at weddings, Prince William, The Clash, Dame Julie Andrews, King Arthur, Merlin, Erasure, Alan Rickman, Colin Firth, Imperialism, Monty Python, Bowie, Muse, Def Leppard, english cucumbers, fish & chips, the BBC, tweed, John Oliver, pasties, Sunday Roast (see below), Yorkshire Puddings (see below) calling things puddings that are in no way puddings (see below), Wellies, J.R.R. Tolkien, Professor Steven Hawking, Big Ben and Parliament, the monarchy, use of the Pound instead of the Euro, the invention of tennis, Debrett's, the Pump Room, taking a turn about the room (it's so refreshing), take-away instead of take-out, butlers, Sir Isaac Newton, Sir Sean Connery, Sir David Attenborough , 007, Wham!, Rupert Giles, Spike and Drusilla, Carlisle Cullen, dandyism, kilts (Scotland is part of the UK), scotch, scotch tape, Ewan McGregor, monocles and top hats, and Shakespeare.

Did anyone mention Robert Pattinson and the fact that Jean is a dirty old woman?

Anyway... We decided to do a Sunday Roast for our UK experience. This is typically roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes and some kind of vegetable (we did brussels sprouts) served on (you guessed it) Sunday.

Yorkshire Puddings

Ingredients:

• 3 eggs
• Equal quantity of milk
  
• Equal quantity of flour
• Pinch of salt
• 2 tbsp Sunday Roast pan drippings

Instructions:

Visit Pike Place Market and purchase a Popover Pan at Sur la Table for this very specific occasion.

Whisk to combine milk and eggs in a large mixing bowl. Add the pinch of salt. Walk away for 10 minutes. Maybe enjoy a cocktail while you wait.

Sift the flour into the mixture and whisk together until creamy. No lumps, Mrs. Bennett, NO LUMPS!

Walk away for another 30 minutes or so. Maybe you need a refill on that cocktail.

Grease the popover pan with a small bit of pan drippings from the roast (or vegetable oil). Heat in the oven at about 450 until the fat is smoking.

Add 1 tbsps cold water to the batter and give it another good whisk. Fill the popover pan to one third of each section return quickly to the oven. Don't dawdle! Bake until golden brown, approx 20 minutes. Enjoy!











Idaho Potatoes - UK Style!

1. Par-boil the potatoes in gently boiling salted water for about 8 minutes. Stop cooking before they're cooked right through.

2. Leave to cool completely, then scratch roughly with a fork and season with a little fine salt.
3. Roast them along with the, um, roast. Baste or turn the potatoes as soon as they go into the pan so they have a light coating of oil from the start.

4. Roast for the last 45 minutes of the roast's cooking time, turning at least once. If they look like they could use a bit more browning leave them in after the roast has come out to rest, while you increase the heat for the Yorkshire pudding.

Roast Beef

We talked to the butcher and got a nice roast. The preparation was straightforward, just a simple rubbing of kosher salt and black pepper. Then into a 450F oven for 30 minutes, then drop the temperature to 325F until the thermometer reads 120F (rare and mooing). Give it at least 20 minutes to rest before slicing.

Put it all together and enjoy with a nice home brewed Brown Ale.

Week 21: France

We love France; the food, the wine, the coffee, the tauntings, the franch fries, the franch dressing and the franch bread. We have been there and experienced the deliciousness first-hand. And we aren't the only ones, France is the most visited country in the world (CIA world factbook). And why not, France is home to the some of the most popular cuisine in the world and the French do their best to protect it's integrity. The Appellation d'origine contrôlée (AOC) makes sure that France's signature products like wines, Cognacs, cheeses, butters and many others are safe from infringing copycats. The baguette is regulated by law in France. The Treaty of Versailles which ended World War I between Germany and the Allied powers affirmed France's sole right to produce Champagne. This, mes amies, is a country with priorities.

Even with such a massive appreciation for food--or perhaps because of it--French people are not fat. French men have the lowest incidence of obesity in the EU, and French women are fatter only than the ladies of Denmark. 44% of Frenchies are atheist, and family and friends greet one another in France with cheek kisses. The number of kisses varies by region from one kiss to as many as five kisses. Skinny, godless and gay? This is why the Bush Administration promoted anti-French sentiment, not because France opposed the 2003 invasion of Iraq!

France is a powerful player in the games of international intrigues. It is the fifth largest economy in the world, and the number three military spender in the world behind the U.S. and China, according to estimates by the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute.

All this packed into an area a bit smaller than Texas... seems like we could do a little more with Texas but anyway...

We found the easiest way to choose a dish to cook was simply to throw an imaginary dart at the lists and lists of regional specialties. Actually, it was pretty much that we were in the mood for something seafoody.

Moules à la Normande


2 T unsalted butter
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 shallots, minced
2 T fresh thyme
2 T fresh parsley, chopped
2 lbs mussels (we used Penn Cove), de-bearded
1 cup white wine
1 cup chopped mushrooms
1/2 cup crème fraîche

Melt butter in a large pot over medium heat. Add garlic, shallots, and mushrooms and cook for about 5 minutes. Add herbs, mussels and wine. Cover and increase heat to high, shaking pot to distribute mussels evenly. Cook until mussels open (3-5 minutes), discarding any that haven’t opened. Transfer to a bowl and keep warm. Bring pan juices to the boil and cook until reduced by a third. Remove from heat, whisk in crème fraîche and season to taste. Pour over mussels. Serve with a crusty baguette.

* If you are planning a visit please feel free to contact us and we can recommend a good beret monogrammer.

Week 16: Germany

Germany, land of lederhosen and phalic castles. Actually, that's just a small part of Germany. Germany is in fact quite diverse: there are people who are infatuated with sausage and polka, and then there people who like sausage but prefer The Hasselhoff. Crazy, right?! When not looking angular and beautiful they are secretly wondering why they didn't invade your stupid country and fix everything you screwed up (the Swiss are the exception here, even Germans think they are uptight).

Thanks in no small part to former President Bush's super-appropriate backrub for German Chancellor Angela Merkel there has been peace between Germany and the USA for over 60 years.

Personally, we love Germany's cars (Jetta, baby), its beers, its Daniels, and its foods.

Some of you may know that we visited Germany briefly last year which makes us experts on German history and culture. The following picture illustrates our ability to blend in seamlessly with the locals in Munich.

Munich was great but we also took in some small town culture in Rothenburg ob der Tauber which loosely translated means "Horny Pig Thief River" in German. Our Geography of the Delicious experiment attempts to recreate a delicious meal we enjoyed here.


We made Bratwurst with veggies, several deserts and sampled some homebrewed Helles made by Michael last year.












Bratwurst with braised apples, cabbage and carrots
Makes 2 Servings.

2 bratwursts
1 onion, diced
1 green apple, chopped
1 large carrot, chopped
1 tablespoon caraway seeds
2 cups sauerkraut
1 cup Riesling wine (or dark beer)
Salt and Pepper

Cook the brats in a pan until brown. Add the onions and cook until brown. Add the apples and carrots and cook briefly. Add carrot, sauerkraut, caraway and wine. Cook until wine reduces. Add salt and pepper to taste and serve.

Spätzle - German Eggs Noodles

1 cup flour
2 large eggs
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup cold water

Start water heating in a pot like you would for dry noodles, add a little salt. This will be for cooking the noodles. In a bowl, beat together the eggs, salt and water until combined. Slowly , sift in the flour and mix until a sticky dough forms. We had to add more flour until the dough came together into a sticky ball. Don't kneed too much, this could make it tough. That's what she said.

Divide the dough into manageable pieces and working one piece at a time roll out to about 1/4 inch. The dough will be sticky so use lots of flour to help. Cut the dough into thin, 1/4 inch strips a few inches long.

Drop these into the boiling water, try not to let the noodles stick to one another as you add them. They will cook in just a few minutes, floating to the top when they are done. Try them to check if they are done to your liking. Serve with butter, salt and parsley.


Windbeutel - cream puffs
5 oz water
2 oz butter,unsalted
pinch of salt
3 oz plain flour
2 eggs
whipped cream
berries (optional)

Boil the water and add the butter. When butter is melted remove from the heat. Add a pinch of salt and the flour. Stir until mixed. it should eventually form into a sticky ball. Add one egg and mix until combined. Repeat with another egg.

Preheat the oven to 425F and line a baking tray with parchment paper. The dough will more than double in size and you can make the puffs as small or large as you want. We made 8 puffs by spooning the dough onto the baking sheet. Traditionally, you would use a pastry bag which I think would result in a more consistent puff. We put a little pan of water in the oven to keep the oven humid. You can also flick some water onto the baking sheet. This should help with the crust of the puffs and help them reached their puffy potential. Crust puff! Puffy crust!

Put in the oven and don't open it as the puffs can fall. No one likes a fallen puff. Watch them carefully--depending on size they cook fast or slow. Ours took about 15 minutes. Remove from the oven and let rest momentarily then carefully cut in half.

When cooled, fill each puff with whipped cream and berries. These can also be filled with savory foods. Delicious!

We also made this beautiful Black Forest Cake suggested by Daniel. The cake was truly delicious but we had to substitute our own concoction for Kirchwasser since we didn't have any. We used some mariciano cherry syrup and vodka which turned out pretty tasty. We also added some to the cake. What what!


And finally, check out this hot German dish! Taste the handsomeness!

Special Edition: Irish Inspired St. Paddy's Day Meal

Jean's (Irish?) Lamb Stew

2 Tablespoons canola oil
1/4 cup flour
1 lb fancy schmancy lamb stew meat, in 1 inch pieces, from pretentious grocery store
1 medium onion, chopped
1/2 head green cabbage, shredded
1 small carton fancy schmancy French onion soup
1 Tablespoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
2 russett potatoes, peeled and cubed
water
two shots of Jameson's Irish Whiskey

Drink Whiskey while preparing the stew. Heat oil in large soup pot over medium high heat. Dredge lamb pieces in flour and brown them in the oil, about 5 minutes or so. Remove from pan. Deglaze pan with some of the onion soup. Add onions and cook for about 3 minutes. Add thyme, salt, pepper. Add cabbage and cook for a few minutes. Add stew meat back to pot, add potatoes, and remaining onion soup. Add enough water to cover the potatoes. Bring to a simmer and cook until potatoes are done. If you can wait longer, do. Keep it simmering for 30 minutes to about an hour and you will have a thicker, more gravy-like stew. Delicious flavor! So warming and satisfying! Maybe that was the Jamesons!

Meanwhile, Michael was making soda bread! He used this recipe for White Soda Bread.